Inevitability

Sitting quietly this morning, I reflected on the past year of my life.  Things seemed to spiral out of control one aspect at a time until I found myself barely able to get out of bed.  I cried behind closed doors and barely ate.  I put on a brave face when I went out into the world even though I had no idea what it was that I wanted for myself.  So many changes in just a few short months.  I fell on my face and harbored resentment, anger, mistrust and so much negativity that my heart aches to look back at it all. 

I won't go into exact details -they are irrelevant now- although honestly I feel silly for even getting into the situations I managed to be in.  My indecisiveness, apathy and self-loathing hurt more than my own self...it damaged everyone in my life.  I would tell myself: if I don't trust myself, how can I trust anyone and how can I be trusted?  I dug deep and found the courage to jump into life and be the person my heart told me I should be.

I was frightened, wary and uncertain...but I hoped for the best and set out with determination to make forward progress.

How on EARTH do you turn your life upside down and then figure out a way to right it in every way possible?  I was willing to do something different.  I managed to lose my pride and asked for direction.  In the middle of chaos, I identified opportunity, set a goal and reached for it.  I held onto faith and prayed for the strength to see my way through.  I allowed myself to trust, to hope and to understand that we are all in this life together - there are many people willing to help if you only ASK.

Do not feel that change is impossible.  The choice is yours: seek the change you want and embrace it despite fear.  I would not be the person I am today, and I certainly would not have made such progress if things didn't happen the way they did.  I am thankful for the difficulties in my life that challenged me to begin my transformation.  A stronger, healthier and more optimistic me.  The journey of change begins with a goal and one single step forward.  It is never easy, but then again - nothing worthwhile in life ever is.  What are YOU waiting for?  Find your opportunity.