Perspective

Stress.  Overwhelmed.  Too busy.  Near tears.  Aggravated.  Happy Monday?!?!  I strive for positivity, but today I did not get enough sleep...five hours is just NOT. Enough.  I went downstairs to a cheerful husband, drew a deep breath and turned on the coffee pot.  Positive times two.  Diabetic dog seems stable.  Positive times three.  Water inside the bedroom suite on the first floor.  Negative times infinity.  Argh!

I called my best friend to talk me down, and gradually accepted that it's not the end of the world.  With the fantastically crazy weather we've had here the past week, I know I am fortunate.  Many tornadoes have done serious damage here, and my house stands firm (albeit a little squishy in 600 square feet).  Ahh my perspective lesson!!!!  It is what we make of it.  Choose to be positive.  I'll be decked out with floaties today.

I was able to lighten up my heavy heart by realizing I have a structurally sound home.  Power.  Internet.  A phone to call my bestest.  Parents who are married after 38 years.  A beautiful mother turning sixty, and a plan to have dinner, cake and ice cream tonight.  Friends who have reached out and taken the time to share over FORTY memories and well wishes for her.  I was able to joke with my "chosen mom" about needing my previously mentioned floaties and a plastic liner for my indoor pool.  (I seriously am blessed to have the most awesome in-laws).  My sister volunteered to assist with errands and last minute stuff -even after she works a long day and drives through rainy weather- to help me accomplish what I need for this afternoon's pool party.  Okay, I'll stop.  It's a birthday party.

When life is full-tilt boogie, and you find yourself overwhelmed.  Stop.  QUIT what you are doing and breathe.  Think of the things that are absolutely wonderful in your life.  You will find that the blessings will start to overflow.  (These water puns are just too easy...)  Life is short, and it is only what we make of it.  Embrace the good in all situations.  Because when it comes down to the things that truly matter, it is those we are surrounded with that make life worth living - not the things surrounding us.

S-t-r-e-t-c-h

 Quit living from that comfort zone. -Hulk Hogan

Living in a comfort zone provides no adventure or excitement, we become complacent and become trapped in routines.  Why not stretch your zone a little?  Be brave, build confidence.  Forget what other people think about you.  This is a huge obstacle for me...why do I care so much about someone else's opinion?  It's their problem not mine, right?  Problem is, I don't want people to think I'm weirder than I am (is that even possible anyhow?).  We're all human, and nobody's perfect.  So making a mistake isn't a death sentence and seeming weirder than normal isn't much different than being strange in the first place.  Right? Facing the fear of looking stupid is small in the grand scheme of life.  There are better things to do than sitting paralyzed with worry.  Be proactive.  Embrace discomfort.


I am so not a risk taker.  I weigh out the outcomes so long opportunities continually pass by.  You know the saying about paving a road with good intentions.  No?  Well it isn't good where the pavement ends up.  I mean well, but I can't let go, so my intentions still get me nowhere.  So if what you do isn't working, the need now is to focus on the joy of the journey and see where it leads.  Accept things happen for a reason, and understand not everything goes according to plan.  If it did, we'd all be bored anyhow.  Life is not predictable, yet we set ourselves up for the disappointment when we expect perfection. Embrace the unknown.  (EEEP!)


I love it when my husband tells me to change my perspective.  Okay, I really and truly hate it...because he's usually right.  I was not born with the gift of racing into the unknown.  I am a creature of habit and I like order.  He, on the other hand wreaks havoc and insists rules are meant to be bent, twisted and stretched just to see if they'll break.  It makes me crawl deeper into my comfort zone just to see if I can hide when things hit the fan.  But really, why should we not get excited about the unknown?  To feel the anticipation of endless possibilities instead of the anxiety of tunnel vision?  My stern, librarian-esque non-risk-taker self reminds me not to confuse stretching my comfort zone with being reckless.  There's a difference, yes, and I doubt I'd break out of my little bubble without understanding what I'm in for.

Believe...

Try & Believe

Yesterday I felt my positive attitude not just slipping, but quite frankly it felt mowed down by 10 am. Faced with some not-so-great news of family, an ailing senior diabetic dog and normal every day life I was on the brink of tears. I felt myself sliding into an old pattern of sadness and wishing I could crawl into bed and hide. Until I remembered something that my aunt said to me just recently: we can always choose to live with a happy heart. Sometimes life sucks, but try to keep many happy thoughts to substitute for the sad ones.

So I dug deep and put on my silly hat. I told awful jokes, sought out funny stuff and attempted to lighten up my day. Strangely enough, it worked. Posting nerd alert photos, revising nursery rhymes after duking it out with one snarky and rather large spider, texting silly stuff to my sister and focusing on my mom's 60th birthday project boosted my spirits better than any anti-depressant could have. I even went for a run in the rain.

My mom told me once that she was having a sad day. As I frowned and felt my heart pang with sympathy, she chided me gently and said that she was thankful for it. When my frown turned to complete puzzlement, she shared her wisdom with me: I know that not every day is like this, and it reminds me to be truly joyful when life is good.

The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible.
― Rich DeVos

Though I cannot prevent life from happening and dishing out the bad along with the good, I can have faith and keep trying to achieve my goals. Never quit. I hope you find strength to dig deep within, pull out a silly hat to get you through the bad days and try with every ounce of oomph you have.

Never. Ever. Give up.

Just Breathe

I went to the dentist yesterday.  I hate sitting in that chair, knowing the extremely nice people are there to help me.  I still have a major dislike of having somebody drilling into my skull.  I felt stifled, panicked and flight response was peaked at maximum rate.  So I concentrated on my breathing. Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Sometimes that's all you can do: one moment, then the next.

Consciously breathe.  It will change your life.  When you are stressed, overwhelmed and find your tension is strung so tight it may shatter, breathe.  If life happens and you're in a whirlwind of emotion or you find you are worried about something, breathe.  It will help to center you in the moment. 

Close your eyes.  Breathe deeply.  In for ten seconds, then out for ten.  Again.  Whether you are discouraged or lost, overwhelmed or too hectic: breathe.  Focus.  Concentrate on what needs to be done in this moment.  It will slow you down and bring you back into this moment and be present for those around you.

My favorite time to consciously breathe is when I run.  I am grounded with deep breaths, focused and certain with my steps.  I am certain if I was more aware of holding my breath in stressful events they would be lessened instantly.  If I was to stop, close my eyes and breathe, I would experience a clarity and calm purpose instead of zinging around and freaking out.

Enjoy each moment.  Even the ones that are less than wonderful, because each day isn't a bad day.  We must experience grief to understand and savor joy.  Center yourself with life's breath and be active in your life - this is no dress rehearsal.

The Zone

How many times are people afraid to take a chance?  They're afraid to do something different: stepping out of the comfort zone is scary.  We shut ourselves off with the anticipation that something bad *could* happen.  I think about all the things that we do in life to avoid any mistakes or any kind of hurt.  I'm not sure if we are taught to live with caution, to protect ourselves from risk or if it is learned as we live.  Proceeding through life with the mindset of "what if" will stop us from reaching for what could be, which is the ultimate failure.  Money is made and lost, hearts are opened up and broken, businesses open and close.  How many of us got on a bicycle for the first time and didn't fall?  If we never try again, there is no chance for progress.
 

  I know I proceed with too much caution, if I manage to step forward at all.  Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, but fear of the unknown is a powerful paralytic.  Excuses abound...and time is wasted.  Growth - whether emotional or physical - is achieved with consistent effort and taking a risk to become more: to be stronger, happier, more successful, whatever the goal.  The next time the potential of change knocks on the door, don't ignore it.  Embrace it.  Push a little farther.  Even if you fall flat, you have achieved more than you would have sitting still and wishing.  Don't talk yourself out of it.  STOP the excuses, dig deep, and forget the what-ifs.  Get out of your comfort zone.

"Where the sun don't shine"

I had a miscarriage on April 27th.  Enter downward spiral of emotions and self-pity, I barely went through the motions for a month and a half.  Everything suffered: my marriage, my friendships, my furry 4-legged kids, the garden, the cleaning around the house, my fitness routine.  My self-pity (aka head stuck up where the sun doesn't shine) sucked the life out of everyone.  I gained about ten pounds and felt sorrier for myself.  Too much wine, too much junk, and not enough umph: you cannot out exercise a bad diet.

In an attempt to avoid sitting on the couch for hours last night, I wanted to walk down to the lake.  The weather gods did not approve, and I decided personal safety was probably better than fresh air and getting zapped by lightning.  So I went into the office, plugged into Beachbody and did some reading.  I also turned on the coach training and did crunches and push-ups while listening.  I rewrote my anorexia story and began to "retrain the brain" by planning more.  (I dug out my calendar and wrote my goals for the next day).

I woke up early, fed the "kids" (husband, dog, cat & chickens) and trooped over to my sister's to let her pups run for a bit.  I hit the treadmill, then opted to take a turn on the spin bike.  Three miles and 225 assorted crunches later, I headed home feeling like I had finally pulled my head out of my arse.  Too often we spend time worrying over what will come, despairing over what was and forget the gift of each moment where we actually are.  It's easy to go through the motions and post positive uplifting notes.  It's the letting go and seizing the present moment that somehow seems difficult.  Suddenly though, the sun will shine as the weight is lifted.  I pared it down - from one day at a time to one moment at a time.  Simple.  Effective. 

If you are burdened with something, reach out to someone.  Just vent and get some of the stress off of your shoulders.  Don't carry it alone.  Give it time, and you will find a way to let go - it does not mean forgetting, just accepting what is and moving forward.  Acknowledge the issue.  Ask yourself if you can change it.  No?  Let go and understand that it is out of your hands.  Breathe.  One moment at a time.

Skinny-Fat

Eating disorders are real. They are scary. But with the right support, they can be managed and cured.  If you or someone you love is affected, please reach out for help.

I have a little secret, a big one really. For years, I've lugged it around and guarded it as jealously as a mother wolf guards her cubs. It's not a secret that is fun to carry like how-a- surprise-birthday-party-for a-friend-type-of-secret would be. In fact, it overwhelmed me for years and only after meeting a particularly courageous woman did I look deep within and felt ready to speak out.  I first wrote this story over six years ago.  Here's an update.

I am a recovered anorexic. But can I really say recovered? Each day I retrain my brain a little more. I struggle to be okay with the weight I am at and the size of jeans I wear, repeating my mantra more than a number. I frequently strain to see what I really look like to other people. I still see someone who is not quite in the best of shape, perhaps a few pesky pounds that could be shed.  After starting my fitness journey I know I'm not perfect, but I'm healthy and I *feel* better.  My confidence grew after completing P90x and continues as I plug in with ChaLEAN Extreme.

People ask me why I got that way...how I thought I was fat enough to warrant starving myself. All I can say is dysmorphia (think carnival mirrors). I know when it started: a comment from an acquaintance, a few extra pounds (I was what I like to call "skinny-fat"). My solution, at 15, was to eliminate the problem: food.  I know I won't relapse into anorexia again - I have truly discovered the love of food. All foods, not just white rice and carrot sticks. I don't hide food under my bed or take portions that would deprive a toddler.  I enjoy working out, and I need energy to do so.  Anorexia is not an option with rigorous exercise.  Period.

I am realistically aware that my family loves me for who I am, that I am nowhere near obesity, and I am actually at an ideal weight. That nagging voice still finds a way into my consciousness and I experience a little bit of doubt. After years of considering some fad diet, pills or some promising diet drink, I found Beachbody.  I am surrounded by healthy, supportive people.  Shakeology is a wonderful supplement, and one that has probably saved my life.  I caught myself in an unconscious relapse, consuming 900 calories a day and exercising hard.  I was able to supplement lost calories with it while I screwed my head back on.

The scale has never been an arch enemy, but in a way, I used it against myself. "I'll just check to make sure I'm not over xxx pounds," and again, I indulged that bratty body image. With Beachbody, I've learned to go by *how* I feel and measurements, not my weight.  I will discourage anyone who gauges their progress by weight alone.  I weigh the most I've ever weighed, but I say again: I am healthy.  If I worked out and expected pounds to melt, I'd quit.  Please note that I have lost nearly 12 inches and maintained my weight at 130.  Muscle weighs more.

I have spent thousands treating and repairing the damage to my body: malnourishment can and will lead to hair loss, rotten teeth and other deficiencies and health problems (migraines).  And for what? The sake of being skinny.  At such an enormous expense.  A most important lesson I've learned from Beachbody: I am more than a number.  Not the size of my jeans or the pounds I weigh.  Health IS wealth.  Set realistic goals for yourself.  Make your health your priority, take measurements and gauge your progress by how you feel.  Not just what the scale glows back at you.